Tomorrow night is the night. I am meeting with N for the first time. I dont know whether I should be excited, scared, apprehensive, or a myriad of other emotions. I will probably get it pretty hard, which is how I like it sometimes from S. But not necessarily from anyone else. You see S and I have grown fairly close over the past about year. He knows me and can easily read my body language.
So tomorrow night I may be in for it, then again I may not be. Yes, we have talked about what I want and need and ways he can help me. And yes I have a safeword, but I still dont know how I feel about the whole thing. Anyone else ever feel that way?